


A Field of Poppies

by buckyoujames



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, Mentions of Death, POV First Person, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 13:32:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9899390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckyoujames/pseuds/buckyoujames
Summary: You can't expect sentiments to save you nor can they even protect you. You can't fix other people, either. It's simply not human nature.L has lost.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is short and angsty and it was inspired by a text I sent my friend, funnily enough. I just happened to use a phrase that made me want to write this... Anyways, if you would like to say hi, or to yell, you can find me at [side-ho-ryuuzaki](http://side-ho-ryuuzaki.tumblr.com/).

I don’t know why you’ve put me on this path nor what I’ve done to deserve it. It must have been something greatly evil, though, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. Or perhaps I would be, but not like this.

I should’ve seen this possibility coming. I pride myself on planning for all possibilities, but how does one plan for not wanting to plan? How do you plan for the simple human want to be unpredictable? You’ve never had to face this dilemma. I can see it in your eyes. Everything you do is planned down to the last word, the last smile, the last blink. Given this, forgive me my bitter words and let a dying man rave.

I loved you.

I loved you with everything I had. My biggest fault has always been that I give myself entirely to whatever my mind (and, apparently, my heart) deems worthy of its time. More and more, you became not only worthy of my time, but you made me wish I had more time to give you. For some reason, I saw your spider’s web and the flies you had caught, and I envied them. I wanted to be able to look at you and see only the perfect son. I wanted to look at you and see only your lies. Maybe then, I wouldn’t have liked you so much. You’d be a fascination, surely, but would I have loved you so much?

I hate to admit that I wanted to fix you. I wanted to take the broken, gnarled pieces of a once beautiful person and fit them back into some new work of art. It’s stupid to believe anyone could do such a thing, much less me and even less to you, but I convinced myself that I could. I convinced myself that you’d become my greatest masterpiece. No one ever wants to tell you that you can’t expect to fix someone, and maybe you should be angry that I even thought you broken in the first place.

Tell me, what do you believe hurts more? To kill the one you love, or to be killed by the one you love?

Do you even know what love is?

And now, I lost. I let you in close, I let you tell me pretty lies, and now my time is near. How idiotic of me to have chained you to me. Maybe I thought a physical bond would become an emotional one, simply by proximity. I was a fool. My only hope is that death is as beautiful as your deceit is. 

I had accepted my fate too early, Light. Now, I lay myself at your feet and pray you bury me in field of poppies.


End file.
